Pastor Mommy

 This has been an exhausting week. I am absolutely drained. I don't say this to get sympathy. I don't say this to get comments that are uplifting - though I wouldn't turn those away either! I don't even say this to get prayer (but again, I DEFINITELY would NOT turn that away). I say this to say - can you relate?  Can you relate to having a week where everything seems to be draining you. Can you relate to feeling lost? Can you relate to feeling weak? Can you relate to feeling anxious? And maybe it's not just a week. Maybe it's been weeks, months, or years even.  There is a worship song that I have been playing this last week on repeat. The first time I heard it was one of the last times I stepped foot in the sanctuary as Pastor Nichole for Generations Community Church. It was an intentional worship night that our worship pastor had put on. It was quite possibly the last song that he played and I sat at the back of the sanctuary and just wept. The love I had and s...

 "I know why we won't sleep in heaven. Because there is no darkness there!"  - Jackson, 8. I started the new year with my new Bible reading plan. This year I am going with the chronological reading plan. I encourage you to be in the Word this year in whatever way works for you! But, for me it means reading thorough the Bible each year. As you may very well know - the beginning is Genesis. The beginning is that God creates.  At the beginning of this week I thought I would be writing about God as creator. I thought I would be writing about God having so much love to give that He decided to create and share it with us. That God created us in His own image. It's what I made my tiktok devotion about. But, as the week has progressed - the Holy Spirit has been shifting me.  Light. vs  Darkness.  I was trying to find statistics to support the "age old" expression that depression and suicide rates go up after the holidays. What I was surprised to find was that those...

 Life is a little strange right now.  About a year and a half ago I felt like God was leading me in a different direction and with a heavy heart I resigned from a position at a church I had been at for almost 5 years. A church that really was home and framily. It was incredibly painful, and if I am being honest - I wonder often if I made the right decision. I pray through that a lot.  I quickly jumped into another position at a new church. I was excited for what God would do there. But, what I shoved aside was that I never gave myself time to grieve the loss of what was. I think I only gave myself a week. I needed more time. I also realized in the 10 months at the new church that I was on the brink of serious burnout in ministry. I have no doubt that this started before I took on this new position and I still feel terrible that the new church family got caught in the crossfire. So, if you are reading this from the church we recently left - I apologize and we love you!...